Tia...

Tia, when I see you laughing, I wish I could somehow take pictures of how I feel.You make me so happy it hurts. Take pictures of how scared I was when you took your first tentative step. And the burst of pride when you took your second...

I watch you woo absolute strangers with the mischief in your eyes. I watch them falling in love with you the minute you smile. Tia, it scares me more than it scares you to let you in any set of arms other than mine. And of the secret thrill of you jumping back in my arms knowing i'll catch you, knowing i'll never let you fall.

I wish I could take pictures of the way you light up the room with your smile when I walk in and then hold on so tight like you'll never let go. No one's ever been able to make me feel quite that special.

I watch you through all these, trying to shrug the nagging thoughts of how fast you are growing up. If I could, I would hide you again in my womb,away from the ever-beckoningworld. Away from all the things that will sooner or later take you away from me - I remember your third step was not in my direction. Somehow that seemingly innocuous gesture panicked me. So now I hold your hands when you walk- for you or for myself, I dont know.

I do know, as you grow, there'll come many new things- friends, boys, studies, in your horizon which today houses only us two. So I'm clinging on to today, filling up my kaleidoscope with snatched fingers, filling it with a thousand tiny moments of joy to hold on to in a treasure chest of memories when you're all grown up.

Tia, you've given me the best gift in the world- motherhood...